Herbs, Anyone?

So one of the signs that lets me know that it's officially spring - bordering on soon to be summer - is that I've got my herb garden in full swing.  I've yet to plant the herb garden of my dreams, but a girls' gotta work with what she's got.

So far this year I've tricked out my patio with window boxes and terra cotta pots full of a few herbs that I consider essential in the kitchen.  At last inventory, I'm growing rosemary, thyme, basil and parsley with a few annuals thrown into the mix for color and because I damn well felt like it.  There's also a giant mint plant that seems to be taking over one of the planters, which is fine with me becuase I got it for the sole purpose of making mojitos - oh yeah - or maybe caipirinhas, if I can get my little cheffy hands on some cachaca.

But so far in the scant couple of weeks that I've been growing my little green smelly plants I've already made two batches of basil-parsley pesto, and have been just waiting for the weekend to make mojitos!

I don't really know what it is about taking something you've grown yourself and cooking with it that makes everything taste so much better.  Not to mention the dishes that you cook somehow become more meaningful or important. 

So ladies and germs, go out and get yourself an herb plant and grow something!

Chocolate Cupcakes with Pink Cream Cheese Frosting...

So this Tuesday is my sister's birthday and being the slacker that I am, I inconveniently forgot to get her a birthday present.  Luckily for me I have a nifty bag of culinary tricks.  So in lieu of baking her an entire birthday cake I went with the ever beloved cupcakes.

I decided to go with chocolate - always a winner.  And looking around the kitchen cream cheese icing was the way to go, plus it's not as sweet as your standard buttercream, and wouldn't you know, that's how my sister and I prefer our frosting.  Of course the most important factor concerning the cupcakes was the color of the icing... dilemmas, dilemmas.

In the end, had to go with pink; and I know that in my shoddy photography work it doesn't come across as a very intense pink, more a pastel - trust me, it was hot pink.

And yes - my frosting piping skills do leave something to be desired, but 1.) I'm not a pastry chef, damn it, and 2.) I was wrangling a niece and nephew at the time.  I also discovered that using a larger pastry tip (or none at all) is definitely the way to go for speed and presentation if your in a pinch for time.  Oh well, lesson learned!

But how did they turn out, you ask?  Delicious - the cupcakes were moist, although they could have been a little more "chocolatey" which will be a future recipe tweak.  But in the end it was all about the icing - damn you cream cheese frosting!  It was oh so good, but oh so horrible for you... recipe to follow - you'll definitely want to try it so you can see what I mean.

Did I mention this was my first foray into cupcake making?  I think I did alright for a first try.  My recipe for the cupcakes themselves was a standard chocolate cupcake which I won't bore you with.  I suppose you could even *shudder* use a box mix.  But again, I think these cupcakes, in the end, were all about the icing, which is prepared as follows...

Ingredients - only four- how easy!

• One 8 0z package of cream cheese at room temperature (your choice of regular, lowfat - whatevs)
• 5 Tablespoons of unsalted butter, room temperature (half a stick if you're in a hurry)
• 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract (the good stuff, if you please)
• 2 to 3 cups of powdered sugar, depending on consistency

1. Using a stand mixer/handheld/arms of steel, cream together the butter and cream cheese until it's light and fluffy.  Add in vanilla extract.
2. Slowly begin to add the powdered sugar, letting the frosting build up in volume as you add the sugar.
3. After you've added the first two cups of sugar, check the consistency - in the end it's up to you - how heavy do you want your frosting?  The more sugar you add, the lighter it gets.

At this point, it's ready to be colored, and the sky's the limit pertaining to this aspect.  Use it to decorate your cooled cupcakes or other delicious tidbits or store it in the fridge until you're ready to use it, or just dig into it with a spoon as the case may be.

WARNING: this frosting may induce sugar highs in young children, or anyone for that matter and may cause sugar induced comas or uncontrolled bouts of consumption.  Eat at your own risk ; )  Seriously - this stuff's dangerous!  Enjoy.

The Wayward Chef Blogs Again!

Hello.  My name is Jessica, and I am a blogging delinquent...  It's shameful but I haven't posted in more than a year.  I know my one follower - thanks Lacey! - is definitely thinking how they've had to struggle throughout this last year without the witty sarcasm and the unexpected, yet well thought out ranting...  It must have been tough, indeed. 

But not to fear - my desire to record the culinary happenings in my life has been renewed, for a while at least...  So soon to follow are recaps on some of the more successful things that I've prepared in the last few months - the good, the bad, and the epic fails.

I've got a few more things done on my life as a chef checklist that have given me a bit more drive in my life, as well as a bit more drive to write about them.  Aren't you lucky?

1. Graduated from culinary school.  Check.
2. Got the tall hat for graduating culinary school.  Double Check.
3. Moved to a new town for a change of scenery.  Doh.
4. Moved back to the place I probably should have stayed in the first place.  Finally.
5. Got a job in a interesting and possibly very fun restaurant.   Done.

We'll have to see how it all pans out, won't we?

My hint to my next blog post?  Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  You may now drool.

Chili Caramel Rice Pudding? Hell Yeah...

     So it's official - classes have started up again for the spring quarter in my culinary school, and I think I'll have some good ones.  My two cooking classes are Asian Cuisine and Art Culinaire - very exciting!  In Asian, I get to experiment with flavors and techniques that are definitely out of my wheelhouse, and in particular, I was very pleasantly surprised with how one of my desserts turned out. 

      It was a sticky rice pudding with chestnuts and dates topped with a chili caramel sauce!  Can you say delicious?  I know I could - it was a pretty simple dessert to prepare, and the plating was basic yet stunning - a simple ringmold of the rice with a smear of the chili caramel sauce alongside, and let's not forget the chili roasted pine nuts. 

Mmm mmm good!  More deliciousness to come... hopefully... as long as the culinary neanderthals in my class don't screw things up...  And on the subject of culinary neanderthals, it's time for my self-indulgent blog rant...  sorry... but just read on - it's snarky - you'll like it, I swear...

     Sometimes, I have to wonder about the motivations of some of the people in my school who are there to get a culinary education.  One might think that there are several qualifications, ingredients if you will, to attending said school...

1. The Abilities to Read and Follow Directions: I as a student value the input from my more experienced counterparts, people I like to call teachers - I know, getting all crazy with the terminology here...  If a person doesn't have the foresight to recognize the greater knowledge of these people, then why are they here if they disregard what is being taught.  Also, there are these little instruction groups called recipes that help us along the way - yeah, a little variation is okay, and sometimes even encouraged, but don't just freestyle the damn thing because you think you know better - trust me, ya don't!
2. Passion: if you roll into class 30 minutes or an hour late because you didn't feel like moving your ass and showing up on time, why are you shelling out an exorbitant amount of tuition for something you could give a rat's ass about?  Not to mentiont that I or the chef is going to have to catch your ass up so you can be part of the group and maybe, just maybe *gasp* learn something...  Don't waste my effing time >: (
3. Dedication: ya know what - life's hard sometimes, and yup, you're not going to be a rock star at everything you try.  Having a bad day, are you?  Don't blame it on the chicken that you can't butcher properly or the student next to you that doesn't want to put up with your whiny bulls**t (which is probably me...)  If you think being in a spacious, well lit, CLEAN, and relatively pressure free kitchen is going to be harder and less stressful than working in an industry kitchen, you may want to reevaluate your career path, sweetheart.

Ahhhhhh - vengeful wrath expelled... check.  Blistering sarcasm and blatant hatred recorded... check.  If you have ever experienced anything like this in whatever line of work you're in, or even your personal life, I hope you can empathize, and hey - if you have your own blog, or if you don't start one - and you can rant like a crazy person too.  Although I'd recommend doing it without the chef hat - that's my bag...

Super Yummy Chipotle Cheddar Mac and Grammar Corrections a la Nathan

So it's official - I'm a slacker when it comes to this blog.  I guess my few and far between posts will just have to sustain you, dear reader.  But, the reason for my post this evening is my most recent creation in the kitchen: Chipotle Cheddar Macaroni and Cheese!

I know that it doesn't look like much - since it was just me eating, I didn't go crazy on presentation.  But despite its lackluster visual appearance, the flavor packs a punch! 

I used ground beef (but might use a spicy Italian sausage in the future - or not; not sure if I'd want the heat from the chipotles competing with the spices in the sausage - but I digress...) and a standard brunoise of mirepoix. 

For you non-foodies, that's an eight of an inch dice of onion, carrot and celery.  In addition to this, I sliced a few mushrooms, threw in some fire roasted tomatoes, and minced some of the chipotle peppers and added them along with their sauce into the mix.

For the cheese sauce, I made a basic bechamel (flour + butter = roux, then add milk) and added a little dijon mustard, some of the adobo sauce and a nice sharp cheddar cheese.  Add in some whole wheat pasta and tada!  A savory one pot meal.

And I'd also like to give a shout out to my friend Nathan, who upon reading my blog for the first time, graciously pointed out my many grammatical errors to me.  Kinda felt like a dumbass, honestly - usually, improper grammar is one of my largest pet peeves! 

One of my major hates is when your/you're is used incorrectly, and *gasp* I did it...  Ugh.  I suppose that nobody's perfect - or maybe it was the injured finger that impeded my typing that was to blame.  Yeah - that's it!  Let's blame the finger... 

Mission Accomplished

Well, ladies and germs, it's official - I may just make the best damn guacamole ever, or at least the best my friend the nonbeliever has ever had.  She liked it so much that she pretty much ate the whole bowl (it was only one avocado - don't judge!)  Anyway - my recipe is super simple, so give it a shot and tell me what you think.  And before you read it - yes, I know - there's no cilantro in it!  Add it if you wish, but I'm not a big fan of cilantro - shocking...

My Super Tasty Guacamole Recipe
You will need...
- One avocado
- 1/4 of a small onion (yellow or white), minced
- 1/4 roma tomato, seeded and finely diced
- 1 jalapeno (or to you taste) seeded and minced
- dash of lime juice (or lemon if it's handy)
- salt to taste

1. So, prep your onion, tomato, and jalapeno and put them in a bowl large enough to use a potato masher in. (Nope, kids, not using a blender for this guac - it's better with a little texture, and frankly, I like the fact that I can tell that there are chunks of avocado in it, not just mystery green goo...)
2. Next, get the avocado out of its skin:  super easy - just take a chef's knife and cut around the avocado on the long axis - basically just hack you knife in once, and then move the avocado, not the knife, until you get a cut around the whole thing.  Then, twist the two sides that you've cut and voila - you're almost done.  Now, tap the blade of you knife into the seed of the avocado, firmly enough to make the knife stick, then twist your knife and the seed will come out.  Get rid of the seed, and scoop out the flesh of the avocado with a spoon.  Dice it - about a 1/2 to 1/4 of an inch will work.
3. Now, add your avocado to the veggies in your bowl, sprinkle with you citrus juice of choice, and mash with a potato masher (or wooden spoon.)  Now don't go crazy with the mashing - think texture and presentation - not mush the crap out of it!
4. Once your desired consistency is reached, season with salt and enjoy.

My recipe is extremely basic, and written for the novice chef, so if you're frustated after reading this - bite me.

My first blog post... ever! Seriously.

Mmkay... so I'm brand spanking new to writing a blog (plus I'm typing with an injured finger... so please, do forgive my typos!) and am just going to riff randomly for a bit... Will I come up with a topic for this post?  Probably not, but you'll just need to keep on reading to find out, won't you?
My idea for this blog was inspired by my friend Lacey's own blog about her adventures being a gourmet.  While she was visiting me this week, she suggested that I be a guest blogger for her since I am *ahem* a noted food expert.  And I thought - ooo, I should just make my own blog - and here we are.  My aforementioned friend Lacey has been visiting me this week, and one evening, tonight actually, we were planning a quiet night in, and chips and salsa were a must.  So, at the grocery store we got chips and she reached for the dun Dun DUN! jarred salsa.  Now, don't get me wrong, storebought salsa can be handy, and damn tasty - but why buy it when you can just make it.
Ooo - random yet slightly connected tangent!  We were wandering around the produce section getting ingredients for the aforementioned salsa when my friend mentioned something about loving avocados.  I suggested that we make guacamole as well.  To this she said - she didn't like guacamole...  Wtf?  They're almost one and the same - guac's just avocados with a few extra things added in.  So my mission for the evening: make the best damn guacamole ever and convert my nonbelieving friend.  Mission accepted - stay tuned for the results!